I realised something recently, while preparing for my next health assessment in regards to my social benefits I receive in order to survive, that living in human society for myself living with mental health issues is like being trapped at the bottom of the ocean. It's completely black, no light of any kind, the crushing weight of millions of tons of water on top of me unable to breathe or move, slowly suffocating. Creatures I'm unable to see but know are there swim around me waiting to take a bite. My fear, terror and panic are overwhelming and I just want to die so it will stop. ... But it never stops. It never ends. It just keeps going like this day after day for years, for decades. Trapped in a society I have no emotional or mental connection to and is just a terrifying, confusing place of hypocrisy, lies and needless aggression.
Thats how I feel living in human society. I'm both physically human but mentally a separate existence from them, unable to understand them or be understood.
A lot of the time people don't even try to understand and are just violent right at the outset for no reason. Is there any benefit to my being part of such a thing? I don't think so.
I would give a great deal to just live out my life being left alone. Sadly, society loves to inject itself into our lives without our permission.
Thats how I feel living in human society. I'm both physically human but mentally a separate existence from them, unable to understand them or be understood.
A lot of the time people don't even try to understand and are just violent right at the outset for no reason. Is there any benefit to my being part of such a thing? I don't think so.
I would give a great deal to just live out my life being left alone. Sadly, society loves to inject itself into our lives without our permission.
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